Belonging Through Change

“Change is an event, but transition is the process that you go through in response to the change.” — William Bridges

Change, transition and belonging

The forum began by distinguishing between change, an event or new circumstance, and transition, the emotional and psychological process of adjusting to that change. Moving country, joining a new school, entering a new grade level, changing friendships or moving through a developmental stage can all involve transition.

Parents explored what belonging looks and feels like, identifying themes including connection, acceptance, inclusion, safety and opportunities to participate and contribute.

The group also considered what parents themselves need in order to develop a sense of belonging within a school community. Ideas included:

• opportunities to connect with other parents and build relationships
• feeling accepted and included
• accessible and inclusive communication, including consideration of language
• time and space to acknowledge what has been left behind
• establishing new routines and becoming socially active
• groups and activities that bring families together
• opportunities to share experiences and challenges of parenting
• responsive communication from the school
• positive relationships with teachers
• confidence that children feel safe, known and connected

A key idea was that belonging develops over time. Transition may involve loss as well as new opportunities, and different members of a family may reach a sense of belonging at different points.

Understanding emotional responses to change

Using an emotion and feelings wheel, parents considered how people experiencing the same event can have very different emotional responses. These responses can also be influenced by developmental stage, personality, previous experiences and other changes happening at the same time.

Transition can activate normal stress responses. Possible signs of stress in school-age children can include increased worry or emotional responses, changes in sleep, or temporary regression in behaviour. For adolescents, signs might include mood changes, withdrawal, avoidance, increased screen use or greater risk-taking.

A useful question when noticing a change in behaviour is:

What might this behaviour be communicating?

Parents also considered a simple stress scale, from 1–3 (calm and manageable) through to 7–10 (high stress). When children are experiencing high levels of stress, the immediate priority is comfort, safety and connection rather than problem-solving or correction.

Connection before correction

A central principle explored during the forum was connection before correction. When children are experiencing strong emotions, helping them feel psychologically and emotionally safe can support them to regulate before attempting to address a behaviour or solve a problem.

This involves:

• creating emotional and psychological safety
• supporting co-regulation
• listening and building trust
• recognising the feelings underlying behaviour
• addressing the emotion before addressing the behaviour or problem

Address the feeling first; then address the behaviour or problem.

Managing emotions during change

Several practical strategies were introduced and applied to different scenarios:

STOP: Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed mindfully.

Name it to tame it: Help children identify and put language to what they are feeling.

Validate emotions: Acknowledge the feeling without necessarily agreeing with every interpretation or behaviour - for example, “It makes sense that you would feel worried about this change.”

Emotion coaching: Stay alongside children as they experience strong emotions, helping them identify what they are feeling and move towards regulation before problem-solving.

Key reminders

The forum concluded with four key ideas for supporting children and families through transition:

Change is hard for everyone. Normalising the challenges associated with transition can help children understand that difficult feelings are a natural part of adjusting.

Connection before correction. Relationships and emotional safety provide the foundation for regulation, reflection and problem-solving.

Small, consistent actions matter more than perfection. Predictable routines, regular moments of connection and being emotionally available can make a significant difference.

Adults model resilience. Children learn from watching how the adults around them acknowledge emotions, respond to uncertainty, build new connections and seek support.

Families were also encouraged to be proactive about building connections within the ISU community through opportunities such as PCA activities, new-family events, CCAs, home-language connections and Classlist.

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