Belonging through Affirmation

September 25th 2026

This week’s Parent Forum, Belonging through Affirmation, brought parents together for an engaging conversation facilitated by Jordan, Trudy and Christine about neurodiversity, the power of language, and how we can help children understand and value the ways their individual brains work.

The session began by developing a shared understanding of some important language:

Neurodiversity – the natural variation in how all human brains think, learn and experience the world. Everyone is part of neurodiversity.
Neurodiverse – describes a group with diverse brain types, including both neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals.
Neurodivergent – describes a person whose brain functions differently from society’s typical standards, including autistic, ADHD, AuDHD and dyslexic people.
Neuro-affirming – an approach that values neurological differences as natural human variations.

From there, parents explored the shift from a medical or deficit model, which can position the child as the problem that needs to be “fixed”, towards a social and neuro-affirming model. This encourages us to recognise neurodivergence as a natural variation of the human brain and an integral part of a person’s identity, while considering the environmental, communication, societal, systemic or attitudinal barriers that may be making it harder for a child to thrive.

Jordan brought this to life by sharing experiences from his own education, including examples from childhood report cards. One Grade 3 report, for example, described challenges with concentration alongside his vivid imagination and ideas. Later reports focused heavily on organisation, behaviour and responsibility, while another showed that his different approach to learning, including not taking traditional notes, did not prevent him from retaining information and achieving highly.

These experiences highlighted the power of language. The words adults use can shape how children think and feel about themselves. Labels such as lazy, attention-seeking, unfocused, overly emotional or obsessed can locate the problem within the child. A neuro-affirming approach instead asks us to be curious about what lies behind what we see, recognising that behaviour is communication.

Through an interactive sorting activity, parents explored deficit-based and neuro-affirming language and considered how familiar phrases might be reframed. The phrase “needs high levels of support”, for example, generated thoughtful discussion about why needing support can sometimes be perceived negatively, when all of us need different forms and levels of support at different points in our lives.

A recurring question throughout the forum was therefore not “What is wrong?” but “What support would help?” Before making assumptions, we can ask: What might this child be experiencing or communicating? What barriers might be present? What strengths can we build upon? How might the environment or our approach need to change?

The conversation also considered what neuro-affirming practice looks like when parents and educators work together. Difficult conversations can become opportunities to better understand the child. Starting with empathy and openness, listening to the expertise families bring, making space for the child’s voice and agency, and using affirming language can help us move towards a shared understanding of what a young person needs.

At ISU, this thinking is also informing changes to our IEP process, with a more child-centred approach that begins with the young person - who they are, what matters to them, and their strengths and superpowers - before considering areas for growth. Goals can then build from strengths. A child with a wonderful imagination and rich vocabulary, for example, can be supported to develop strategies that enable them to bring those strengths into their written stories.

Parents also explored five simple principles for talking with children when things feel hard: connect first, name the feeling, use affirming words, keep the door open, and remember that you are your child’s first love. As the presentation reminded us, we do not need perfect words; what matters is that we keep coming back to the conversation.

The forum left us with one powerful question to reflect upon:

What does your child believe about their own brain?

And, importantly, what role do the words, expectations, environments and relationships around them play in shaping that belief?

The session concluded by highlighting ISU’s Neurodiversity Parent Network, co-facilitated by Jordan and parents, which provides an inclusive and supportive community for neurodivergent parents and parents of neurodivergent children - a space to support, connect, learn and belong.