We are each, in our own given lives, a story.
Storytelling is perhaps the most powerful way that human beings organize experience.
Storytelling is an essential, perhaps the essential activity of human beings. Stories allow children to learn about their culture, but also serve as a kind of passport into the culture. Children tell stories as a way of solving emotional, cognitive and social puzzles and to sort out problems or concerns. Perhaps most importantly, stories are one of the fundamental ways in which we each create an extended self.
Susan Engel (Storytelling in the First Three Years)
I am entranced by the notion that we are each, in our own given lives, a story. Our lives are living stories being written in the moment, evolving, transforming, unfolding with each and every step we take. In fact, you could say that even as I type and share these words with all of you, I am also in the process of adding to my own life story—and your story too is being written as you read these words, making you a part of my story, and me a part of yours. It is truly fascinating when you begin to let this notion sink in. We are, in some way, an interwoven web of stories, all being simultaneously written, and all interconnected with each other—some stories are closer to our own, having a bigger direct impact, while others are further away in this interconnected web, having only a small impact on our lives.
Collectively we are creating the story of humanity, of our world, with threads stretching out across the globe, and even back through time, to all the life that once roamed this earth. You may think you are alone, but you are not. You never have been and never will be, because the stories we share, the stories we write, the stories we are, are forever connected to one another.
Each of our families tells its own interconnected story, and that story has its own ancestral and cultural threads… and there are even threads which also stretch into the future, through our children, to a time we can only remotely imagine. Stories within stories within stories, stretching out across time and space, and all interconnected to share our one larger story.
Now, here is some more food for thought…
Elaine Reese, in an article from the Atlantic Magazine, writes, “Most parents know about the benefits of reading stories from books with their young children. Parents are blasted with this message in pediatricians’ offices, at preschool, on TV, even with billboards on the city bus. Reading books with children on a daily basis advances their language skills, extends their learning about the world, and helps their own reading later in school. Reading with your child from a young age can instill a lifelong love of books.” She goes on to add that what most people don’t know is that telling family stories has many of the same benefits, and perhaps even some added ones.
She continues, “Over the last 25 years, a small canon of research on family storytelling shows that when parents share more family stories with their children—especially when they tell those stories in a detailed and responsive way—their children benefit in a host of ways.”
I have recently begun sharing personal stories in my classroom and it has been astonishing to see how the children hang on my every word, eagerly curious about what will come next. And then always they ask for more! This is all without a single beautiful illustration or famous author crafting my words. Just me, in my own words, sharing stories from my own life. I would venture to guess that a part of what makes these stories so powerful is that they hold an inherent passion and a profound connection to life, in that they really happened, and they happened to me, a human being these children know and love—that’s the biggest personal connection of all. In a way, how could they not be curious for more.
Now imagine you sharing stories of your own childhood with your children. You may think these stories are mundane or insignificant, but to your children they are not. In fact, they hold deep meaning and powerful lessons, as they take on new perspectives and awareness about you, your life, your humanity and feelings. Their own family and lives become richer and more colorful, not to mention beautifully complex. What printed book can do all that? And as their parents, you can imagine how powerful the connection to those stories would be.
So, while you should, of course, never stop reading great children’s literature with your kids, I highly encourage you to regularly share personal stories. Perhaps you can make a family story night once a week, where during this time all the books go back on the shelf and only your hearts, minds, and memories tell the stories. Perhaps you could even encourage your kids to have a go themselves.
Isn’t it extraordinary to think how the simple act of sharing your own personal stories can play such a profoundly important role in the “writing” of your life’s story, not to mention the unfolding stories of your children’s lives, and the larger family stories that connect you all together. In other words, the telling of your smaller life stories would actually get woven into the writing of your bigger life story, adding untold color and beauty to this interconnected story web we share…
I challenge you to give it a try. Choose one personal story and share it. See what happens…
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